I smile. Because my favourite conversation in the world has just started. Which Avenger would I be? Avengers 1 has just come out at the cinema, and My Brother is grinning as he walks with me out of the showing.
“I’d be Captain America.” He says.
“What? Boring?” I say.
“He’s not boring! He’s noble! And stands up for important things!”
“Important things like… being boring?”
“He’s not boring!”
“He’s so boring! He’s always like ‘I could do this all day!’ He’s so slow! Taking all day to do one thing! You can tell he’s old! They should call him Captain Hip Replacement! Or… James May.”
My Brother harrumphs.
“What about you then, Dan? Which Avenger would you be?”
I smile. Because I have known my answer to this question ever since the end of Iron Man 1. When Iron Man sees all the people listening to him and turns round and announces ‘I am Iron Man.’ Amazing.
“You’d go for Iron Man, wouldn’t you Dan?” he says.
“How do you know?”
“Because you love everything to be about you.”
I smile.
I do love that.
“No I don’t” I say. Lying. Obviously.
“Come on, Dan. Do you ever find yourself in situations that aren’t about you, and somehow they end up being all about you?”
“So? What’s your point?” I ask. “This was… this was just a lovely harmless conversation about The Avengers! How is this now about me?”
He smiles, and quotes Captain America. Talking to Iron Man.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Isn’t everything?”
My Brother starts talking about something that isn’t to do with me.
I stop listening.
–
It is later, and I am Strongbad-ing when I see an intriguing e-mail. The headline reads “Nominate Someone Great!” in a Trogdor voice.
I read the e-mail, and think of My Brother. The e-mail doesn’t say you can’t nominate yourself…. But I’m not Mr. All About Me! I’ll show My Brother! I’m going to nominate someone else!
Someone who has actually worked hard. Someone who has got stuck into a million things! Way beyond what students are meant to do. All while going through some toughness of her own.
Julie is friendly, nice and extremely servant-hearted.
I smile, and nominate Julie.
–
It is a few months later, and I am at the Wolverhampton Custard Bowl Stadium. The Uni are hosting The Greatness Awards there, and I have been asked to come along and perform with Joey & The Jammers, my legendary uni musical trio. The awards start, and I am not the topic of conversation, so I stop listening. Until I hear a name I forgot I expected to hear.
“The winner of the Greatness in Healthcare award…. And we had a lot of people telling us just how great she is…… Julie!”
I splutter, and some sausage roll falls out of my mouth onto Violin’s plate. Julie! I nominated her! And…. She isn’t here!
The Host pipes up.
“Julie? Are you here?”
She’s not! I can’t believe this! Nobody’s going to hear how great she is!
Hang on…
I nominated her. I can tell everyone how great she is! I can collect the award on her behalf! I nominated the winner… and the winner can be me! I can….
“I guess we’ll have to give it to her another time then. Onto the next award!” Says The Host.
…Oh.
I snoozed. And losed. I sigh, and turn to Violin, who has found a sausage roll on his plate.
“I nearly just went up and collected an award that I nominated the winner of.”
I have spoken to Violin. And forced him to take a sausage roll out of his mouth to talk to me. He looks annoyed. Or maybe the sausage roll tasted a bit funny.
“Why didn’t you?” he asks.
I smile. And am very humble. I am… so great. If only My Brother could see how great I am now.
“Well, you know…. This isn’t all about me.”
Violin smiles.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Isn’t everything?”
My eyes widen.
“I know you, Dan. You’d have gone up there, seen all the people listening to you and announced… ‘I am Iron Man!’”
“And now… we have some live music for you from Joey & The Jammers!…” calls out The Host, forcing Violin to swallow the sloppy seconds sausage roll, as he takes the stage with me and grabs his Violin. I grab my guitar, begin to sing and look around.
This moment is all about me.
I smile.
I do love it.
I am Iron Man.
I'm Dan! And I Blog The News! 