Blog #100! – Hunting Beauty

Posted: March 1, 2014 in As If I Actually Ended Up Going To Uni, One More For Love, Springing Into Life

hunting beauty

It is Winter, and unusually, it has snowed. Violin and I have offered to walk Neesh home when she says something. Something baffling.

“It’s not that far. I’ve just moved round the corner from DCS’s.”

I sigh. And remember that Neesh has just moved round the corner from DCS’s. Which is completely far, but Neesh is down. Midway through an off-again time with boyfriend Fifa. I decide to walk her home anyway, and to cheer her up. I try to.

I fail. Because she’s actually fine. I suppose off-again is normal really. I mean, I’ve been off-again for years. With most girls. Neesh says something. Something baffling.

“Dan! You need to get some more single boys in the church!”

I stop walking. And then have to jog to catch up.

“What the heck d’you mean?”

“Well, you know. There’s all these single girls in church, and no guys.”

“Neesh! There’s loads of single guys! And none of the girls are interested in guys. Trust me.”

“No Dan. Trust me. The single girls want guys. I am one.

“You’re a guy?”

I prod Violin and smirk. And look back at Neesh.

“Shut up Dan.”

Oh. I try to shut up for a bit. I fail.

“Well… there is one girl at church I’ve always secretly really liked…”

“Oh yeah…”

“I’m not sure even Violin knows this.”

Violin looks at me.

“I definitely know it, Dan. They call you Pamphlet boy.”

Oh.

“Well, I’ve always really fancied…”

I squirm. Nobody knows about this. And for good reason. And now I’m telling somebodies! This must be a mistake. I am going to get laughed at. Or worse. Seen.

“…Beauty.”

Violin looks at me.

“What?”

Ah ha! I smile. No longer a pamphlet. I am a menu! In French! Neesh looks at me.

“You like Beauty, Dan? As in… my new housemate Beauty?”

“Erm…. yep.”

“Well. I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but Beauty’s told me she wants to find a boyfriend this year.”

Huh.

Huh!… What?

I smile.

“So… I could ask her out!?”

“Have you ever spoken to her?”

“Erm. Not so much. Well. A little. A year ago. I think I might have fallen over my own face once or every time.”

“Well, maybe you could start talking to her?”

I smile. And my mind is blown.

I could have a chance with Beauty.

We walk Neesh home, and I memorise the route.

It is a few days later, and I am at church. Seeing Beauty. Seeing Beauty stand in a circle of friends. Girls. Pretty girls.

Inaccessible.

I sigh, and am about to go and chat with housemate Anders Limpar when Violin breaks into the womanly stonehenge. And I see her! Opportunity! I slide over to Violin and gently shoulder one of the girls to one side so that I can squeeze in and maybe… just maybe…. catch Beauty’s eye.

I do!

I panic. And look away. Fast. I breathe, somehow. And look up again. And see her.

Beauty.

Smiling.

Smiling at me.

“Hi Dan.”

“Errrm.. hi!”

She goes in for a hug, which I accidentally turn into a half-hug before retreating back to my sett. But I am happy. Bursting. Because Beauty herself has shone on me. And I am warmed.

I go and get a cold drink.

And see Beauty again that evening. When I decide to say something. Something baffling.

“D’you fancy having a games night with everyone some time this week?”

“Erm. Sure. Friday?”

I smile. And scurry away.

It is Wednesday. And I have had a text. The games night is off. And possibly reschedul-able. But I am keen. Because I know that now is my chance to strike. Jackson suggests something. And I smile. And do it.

I shower.

And put on a student-clean shirt.

And walk over to Beauty’s house. I decide to text Neesh, because she’s my wingman. I’m terrified, but I can do this. I can knock on Beauty’s door, and ask her straight out. If she wants a man, and no other guys are stepping up… I could have a chance! An actual human chance! I can get rejected amazingly. I reach the road. And breathe.

And approach the door. And wish I could breathe.

I knock.

And await… destiny.

The door opens…

I freeze.

It’s Neesh.

Oh. I un-freeze.

“I’m sorry Dan. She rushed home and went straight to bed.”

Oh. I hang out with Neesh for a while and play cards, before going home and leaving town for two weeks to forget about Beauty.

I fail.

Before returning to church a few Sunday nights later, where Neesh toddles over to start an apologetic conversation. I sigh.

“I don’t know when I’ll get to speak to Beauty again.”

Beauty appears!

Oh no!

“Oh n… nnhi!”

“What?”

“Hi!”

Pounding. Pounding. Pounding. My heart. Not her face. Or mine. I try to regain my composure. I fail to. But get invited to a games night at Neesh and Beauty’s. And smile.

For a new friend. 

I try not to fall in love with her.

I fail.

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