A Very Good Time In The Toilets

Posted: August 1, 2013 in The World Needs More Canada

A very good time in the toilets




I am in Regina, working with a local church to provide some summer activities for local teenagers. I have popped into the loo, and immediately spotted fellow Street Invader Gossen walking into a cubicle. I decide that this is a great opportunity to play tricks on him, so go into another cubicle, and do what I came here to do.


And Gossen hears me.




In HD. Only a sound version of HD.


I hear a quick burst of exhalation from Gossen, who clearly has no idea who is making the hopefully-exaggerated sounds. I smile, and continue. Suddenly the door opens, and someone walks in. As soon as I let the next sound barrage out, I know it’s War Horse, who laughs the official War Horse laugh.


Let me just apologise for the tone of this story. But we are all male. And this is a perfect place for all-male comedy.


I decide to confuse War Horse, by greeting him from inside the cubicle, using Gossen’s signature voice…. the Batman voice. Deep, gruff, incomprehensible. Brilliant. I do not have Adam Millar-y vocal coal, but I am a man of reasonable depth. And I am certainly incomprehensible.


BBC subtitled.




War Horse immediately responds in kind, with a depth that I’m pleased to say was not as impressive as mine. He clearly thinks I’m Gossen, and this continues for 30 seconds, until Gossen joins in.


“Gossen?” tests War Horse.


“Yeah, War Horse?” replies Gossen.


“Oh, that is…. you…?”




“Then… who’s in the other one?”


I smile.


“No idea…”


I smile even more.


“Whabdabaaabdbaabda JUSTICE!”


They laugh, and I carry on until my voice hurts, and Batman accidentally suddenly has an English accent.


“Oh, it’s Dan!”


I smile. I haven’t had this much fun in a toilet since that time I filmed about 15 people locking themselves in a cubicle.


“Good one Dan.” says War Horse, zipping up.


“Cheers, War Horse.”


I hear the door shut, and begin chatting with Gossen, who himself moves away towards the sinks. I hear a door open, and assume Gossen has opened the door to leave, but suddenly I hear a sound. A sound I know very well. I smile, and am in a silly mood. So I say something.


I say something silly.


“Gossen…. I can hear urinating…..”


Gossen lets out a short exhalation, and I am glad that it is indeed him. For if it was a random stranger this would have been incredibly embarrassing. I decide to say something even sillier. This will be brilliant.


“Who is that, Gossen….?”


It’s blatantly Gossen.


“Erm… I don’t know.”


I hear the door shutting, and peer over the top of the cubicle to see Gossen leaving, as the mirror reveals a random stranger! Urinating!


I hide, and stay in the cubicle until the man leaves.



Too many minutes later, I leave the toilets, and find Gossen, who sees me, smiles and says something incomprehensible.




“JUSTICE!” he says.







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