Possibly The Worst Day Ever

Posted: May 1, 2013 in As If I Actually Ended Up Going To Uni, Back To The Edge, Chawn


It is bedtime, and I’m freaking out. I’m on placement, and I left a pad at uni. A key pad. I hatch a back-up plan to fetch it from Wolverhampton after work tomorrow, and to be in bed in Stourbridge by 9:30, ready for work the next day. I go to bed. And dream. That I’ve slept in.



I am asleep.


I should not be asleep.


Oh no!


I’ve slept in! By ninety minutes! I lasso a backup-plan-taxi and peg it to the changing room as the clock gets ready to slap my face – in the face. I change into uniform, at max speed! And pull a muscle in my back.


A muscle I use for everything.


I sigh. And open a door.


And ache.



Lunchtime arrives and I remember deciding to make lunch in the morning. I sigh, ache, and scout the canteen. That won’t accept card. I grimace, and painfully waddle to the gift shop’s trusty cashpoint. I smile, for this day is awful, but cannot defeat me! Me and my trusty back-up plans!


My back canes.


The woman at the cashpoint harrumphs and walks away. Oh no! It’sbroken! I buy an overpriced back-up lunchpasty and grab my iPod. I smile, and get ready for Diana Vickers to please my ears. I press the button.


Oh no! No battery! No music! No music all the way to Wolverhampton and back!


I sigh.


At least when I finally do get home, I know that My Host will have cooked something royal.


And all will be well.


I sigh, and listen to nothing.



Work is done! And I have two hours for a 4 hour job. My fingers clasp the borrowed bus fare pound coin. And something else.




No… Wolverhampton door key! It’s in Stourbridge! OH NO! What the heck is my backup for this? I need to go from placement to Stourbridge, to Wolverhampton… and back to Stourbridge!!


In two hours!


Without Diana Vickers!




That’s not fair!


That’s unacceptable!


I decide to call Big Boots, for he’ll gladly drive me to Stourbridge! And will be grateful for the opportunity. I smile. My back-up plans are ace. I grab my mobile, and see a text. From My Host.


Who’s not making tea tonight.


Oh no!


Hi Dan, what’s up?”


I tell the Bootsman. And make back pain noises.


Oh right, sorry. I can’t help tonight.”


I try My Brother. And Savage. And Truckle-Bed. And MGL. And Haylesbury. And Tomsoar. And fail. I am…. alone. The bus trundles over, and I climb on. Right…


Game on!


I’ve picked up The Metro when I hear somebody shouting. I look up.


Aaarrghhh!!! You [rude word (eg. chimples)]”


A bloke runs off the bus.


Yeah, you’d better run!”


The driver turns and announces that he’s had a bottle of wee thrown at him and that he won’t drive on without fresh trousers.






I sigh. That’s it. I’m done. I am out of backup plans. I decide to give up on my keypad, and to get shouted at again tomorrow for not having it. And to do what I always do in these situations. I get off the bus and buy milk. And browse my contacts for help. And see a name.


Someone from church.


I press call.



Don’t worry Dan, I’ll drive you to Stourbridge, then to Wolverhampton and back to Stourbridge! Not a problem!”


I breathe. And barely believe it. As my back pain finally abates.


I’ll be there in 10.”


I drink milk. And wait.



It is 9:30, and I am dropped off. Bumblebee flies away with a smile, and I am completely rescued.


I love the church.


I go to bed.



I am still asleep.


I should not be asleep.


I wake up. And sigh.


And run.



  1. William says:

    Well, who said everything and nothing can happen to/for one person at once? Yay for a happy ending, though… 🙂

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